"The Dragon we have to slay to save the fair maiden is inside of us."

- from Men Fake Foreplay


 

                                                    
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                   From: Shadoe   Date: Thu, Oct 21, 2010   Subject: OUTSTANDING

    You were amazing.  Articulate.  Insightful.  Engaging.  And funny as hell.  We both totally enjoyed it immensely and appreciated your razor sharp, finely tuned wit and sweeping commentary. I'm sure everyone there was knocked out and we wish you all the luck in the world getting it out there. You deserve it.  It was beautifully written and polished brilliantly.    

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            Catherine   October 21, 2010 at 11:57pm  Subject: tonight's show

    Tonight's show was great!! I brought my son who will be 18 next Thursday and I just wanted to share two things he said to me in the car on the way home tonight...
"Mom, ya know I know a lot of guys who 'think' they like women but I am realizing how many really don't" and "Ya know, next week when I turn 18 I really have no desire to go to a strip club and I am pretty sure dad has plans on trying to take me. I'm just not going to go."
I just wanted to thank you - my son has read your book and loved it and really enjoyed the show tonight. We went and grabbed some dinner after and he has been quoting the book and show since we left the theater.  Your message and delivery has helped to be the sane adult male elephant that he needed.  His dad is around but sadly lacking (it's the
best yet least offensive word I could come up with.)   Congratulations again on a great show and thank you for the impact that you made on my son!
 

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                      From:  Courtney   October 22, 2010  Subject: Return to LA?

     I saw 'Men Fake Foreplay' last night at the theater on Melrose and La Brea.  I was in the front row with my date and
I had no idea what to expect as he had bought the tickets not knowing anything about the show.  I was beyond impressed and I would really like my friends to see this.  Is the show planning to come back to Los Angeles anytime soon?  I also hope a book on tape is in the works.  I bought the book available after the show, but there is something so powerful about hearing Mike tell his story aloud.  There were so many wonderful lines I wanted to remember or be able to refer back to.   I would buy it for myself and at least twenty other people I can think of for Christmas gifts...or for "no special reason" gifts, for that matter. 
       Anyway, I'm a writer too - musicals - and I just wanted to tell whoever is actually reading this, that I was blown away by the way Mike was able to perfectly balance candor, heart and comedy.  I was laughing one minute and deeply moved the next.  It's rare that I have such an experience, and my date and I talked about it all through dinner. If there is an email list about future dates (or the book on tape!) please put me on it, and thank you for an evening I will not soon forget.   

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                From:    Nnegest       October 22, 2010  Subject: your show last night rocked!

      Mike! Wow wow wow! Your show last night was amazing!! Heard about it this past Tuesday night at Marianne Williamson's talk and I am so glad I went. I am a single woman just out of a hurtful break up where the man cheated on me several times. We had a relationship similar to the one you described as having with Linda and I could never figure out the "Why???" Sex- great. intimacy - great. Even that psychic connection was there. But it wasn't enough to stop him from cheating. Oh well... Anyway, you gave me perspective on that whole ordeal, and I'm sure a lot of other women were helped too, as your show was JUST WHAT THE DOCTOR ORDERED! Though I'm still pissed off at the guy who treaded on my heart and trashed in one night (or many nights) what we took 3 years to build, I am feeling much stronger after your insight and powerful presentation of comedic wisdom.

      Thank you for your show!  When is the next tour?  The ladies of the world are waiting.  
 

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                   From: Veronica P   Date: Thu, Dec 2, 2010    Subject: MEN FAKE FOREPLAY

   Just want to drop you a note to thank you for your work.  I recently read your book and found it so refreshing, insightful and entertaining - all at once - that I ordered 5 copies to give to my clients (I'm a psychotherapist and work with couples/families).  I've also ordered a few more to give as holiday gifts to family and friends. 
    I've been telling people it should be required reading to graduate from high school.  College.  Hell, maybe even elementary schools around here.  I'd love to catch your show, but alas, I don't live in L.A.  (I'm in NYC - do you ever do it here?)   However, my daughter and her husband do, and they're going to try to catch it.  By the way, I'm giving each of my sons-in-law a copy for Xmas.  Keep me on your mailing list for the dvd.  Much luck to you, and....when's the next book coming out?

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                                From: Sandra M. Yee       Subject: thank you for your book

Dear Mr. Dugan,
    I picked up your book while browsing at the library  I had only intended to flip through a few pages and see what this obnoxious guy had to say about sex – but after the first chapter, I was hooked.  Thank god the library had a self check-out system, as I was embarrassed to be caught with such a book with such a title.  I then went home and read your book cover to cover.
     I don’t read many male authors, as I prefer the generally more nuanced writing of women, but I was pleasantly, joyfully surprised by your work.  I enjoyed your honesty, vulnerability, humor, and wisdom won by self-sabotage.  I enjoyed reading about the arc of your experience and cheered you on when I read about your daughter and of course the happiness you found with her mother.  Good for you.
     Impressed as I am by your work, I plan to read excerpts of your book at my women’s writing workshop, which focuses on the impact of a woman’s father-daughter experiences on her adult relationships.  I believe in the inherent goodness of men (and women), but a lot of these women that I meet at the Women’s Resource Center do not.  And they need to know that men like you exist and that you are out there enlightening other men.
     Thank you for your book, your creativity, and the journey that has made it so.

Sincerely, Sandra M. Yee

 

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                                                      From:  Sara      Subject: A fan letter
 

     I just wanted to thank you for writing your book Men Fake Foreplay. I recently discovered that my wonderful husband of 20 years had developed an online pornography habit after the birth of our last child.  I was searching and searching for something that would help me understand what happened to him and to us, and your book caught my eye (in a completely different section than the dregs of self help, mind you!)

     I started it and was laughing so hard at the first chapters that my husband and I started it over and read it aloud to each other. I can't tell you how much reading the book has shattered his idea of "boys will be boys".  You just became the older brother/wise friend/father's voice my husband never had. I think the story about your encounter with Bruce Springsteen affected him more than he can say.

     Though you have me wondering if he was really waiting for a Supermodel to appear at our wedding, your take on women was right on the money!  My compliments to you, to your wife, and here's to all our sons and daughters as they eventually discover these truths for themselves.

     Best wishes from Colorado (and I wish you were doing your show here soon!)   

 

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                                            From: NPlumer      Subject: Your performance    

 

    I deeply appreciated and enjoyed your performance last night in Kingston.  I am excited that someone (especially a man) is bringing this TRUTH to the masses.  I loved your honesty about being a boy/man and the reality of how the culture portrays women and the impact that has on relationships.  I am emailing friends all over to try to see you perform.  I just went to your website and do not see a calendar of events. 

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                                    From: Joanne   Subject: Kingston Performance    

   Thank you.  I wept, I laughed, I can't stop thinking about it.  My husband of eleven years attended with me and I know for certain you hit home with him too.  He has an affinity for needy women and has had a few inappropriate "emotional" relationships and one emotional affair.  You may want to add this type of affair to the list of pain and unreal deceit - as it play beautifully with what you had to say about male emotions.  It was the type of affair that made me wish they had sex!  In any case, I wish you well and continued success and if there is an e-mail list I can be placed on - please add me. 
 

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                                                     From: Lutienne       Subject: Michael

   Hello, my name is Odette, I am a hypnotherapist and a pharmacist, divorced mother, living and working in the South Bay. I was a guest at your benefit show at the Hermosa Beach Play House.  I did not have the chance to thank you in person for what you said, and I feel the need to do it with this email.  You lifted every raw nerve in me, from "Hooters" to Howard Stern and "Playboy" and the "Gentlemen" clubs and made me feel elated and vindicated.  Thank you. 
When you said your line  about lying and cheating killing our very soul, the spot inside us from were we smile, laugh and feel joy, I started crying.
You spoke about the choices that come to us today through means of mass communication, and how they perpetuate an image of women that is nothing short of offensive. Thank you. Thank you.
Yes, maybe as you said, your act is not 100% polished or perfectly rehearsed, maybe at times it is halting, more preachy than funny, but it felt perfectly authentic, like it came 100% from your heart. For that, thank you: I so needed to hear a MAN say those things. 
Thank you, thank you as a woman and as a mother.
I would like to take my 15 year old boy to see your show...he listens to rap, so I am sure a few 4 letter words here and there are not going to be a problem.
Please let me know where you are performing next.

Thank you, thank you,
  Odette
 

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From: "Peter Furlong"   Subject: In awe and admiration
 

I felt compelled to write after having the privilege to see your performance at Albany, New York's "Egg" Saturday night, January 28th.

I suppose one of the reasons is because of the effect it had on me.  It provided me with a degree of clarity that I did not have, because nobody had been able to put it so concisely into words.  When I have a shorter stack of books to get through, I will buy yours to reinforce all the ideas that I heard confirmed.  I say confirmed because one of the many gifts that my recovery from alcohol and substances has given me is also the opportunity to begin to sift through my complicated issues on the topics of women, relationships, and sex.

    Another reason that I claim admiration, and felt compelled to write, is because it is probably the first semi-public forum at which I have experienced someone saying, actually saying, with clarity and

conviction, the reality of the twisted sexual ideology that has permeated all our minds, and our culture.  And the ability to say it all while recognizing the inherent humor in its irrationality, as well as without pointing the all- judging index finger.  Even your examples of "50 year-old frat boys" like Howard Stern are really just true examples of the manifestation of this sick thinking in its pop-culture form.

    Lastly, I left your performance with an affirmed sense of hope that I had, of late, begun to develop with some dawning clarities of my own on these topics.  You embody, with your living example, how I someday would like to be, with more of a sense of ease, and begin living now.  I have the good fortune of already having  many mentor/sponsor/therapist types in my life to help me along the road, but sincerely wanted to thank you for the inspiration.

    I am a 26 year old male, having been sober 4 years now, and in truly embracing that gift I have been fortunate enough to do some real inner work and come to some of the realizations you present in your performance.  Thank you for humorously depicting the struggle and the oddity of that conundrum which is the male sexuality identity in today's world.  Especially, I might add, in America.
 

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A Candid